Week 7-8-9 Recap and a Look Ahead

Motion in the Standings Defines the Past 3 Weeks in the LHL

Team Poehlman - 3-0 in the past 3 weeks, crazy consistent 126, 126, 127 output netted them top score in weeks 7 and 8.  This week's showdown against Sack Francisco will be for the sole top possession of the West.  "I really have so much depth I'm not sure what to do besides sit back and collect my weekly winnings," observed Poehlman.

Sack Francisco - 2-1 in the past 3 weeks, but totaling significantly fewer points than Poehlman during that stretch, this would be a huge win for them.  "The loss of Forte could be big, if he starts playing for that team that picked him up when I accidentally cut him.  This dashboard is confusing," said a baffled Rossi.

Straight Outta Luck - 3-0 in the last 3 games, 2 of which were pretty impressive point totals.  "We are just starting to get a  rhythm going but we have to take on the best 3rd place team in the league this week.  If we can pull this one out, we will be poised for a playoff run," stated Renz.

Booberry - 0-3, and nursing a 4 game losing streak, Coach Hannah is still convinced he has the best team in the league.  "We have been a victim of byes and bad bounces.  We will bounce back this week.  It's what good teams do," he commented.  Week 10 is a battle for the 4th playoff spot.

TKO Crew - 2-1 including the highest output of the season last week - 149!  TKO had early season troubles but is looking to turn it around and extend their win streak to 3. "The guys are confident and working hard at practice.  We are ready for another good week," assured Reardon.

Northeast Nerds - 1-2, the Nerds are playing well currently, despite their record. They are averaging about 90 points per game, which won't scare too many top performers, but is enough to beat a team that takes them lightly.  They will go for their 3rd win against TKO this week.  "I won't really be paying attention to the games this weekend - I'll be riding my horse," glowed an effervescent Renz.

Hoosier Daddies - 1-2  Despite a tough stretch, the Hoosier Daddies are still 2 games up in the Eastern conference and look poised to earn a playoff bid.  Injuries have plagued this team that at one point looked dominant.  "When you are relying on Kirk Cousins to win a big one for you, I think that speaks volumes," noted a frazzled Anderson.

Team Cthulhu - 1-2 and spiraling with a lack of on-field leadership, Cthulhu can climb right back in the picture this week with a strong performance against the Hoosier Daddies.  The addition of James Starks could be just what they needed as Eddie Lacy has fallen by the wayside out in Green Bay.  Blake Bortles may be able to do just enough to carry the team while Luck heals.  "This whole football thing is getting stressful.  I now watch red zone on mute while I zone out and play my djembe.  My doctor said my blood pressure is down significantly," Marx shared.

Wicked Sheep - 1-2 but coming off a 139 pt performance, the Sheep appeared to be wicked once again.  We will see what they can do down the stretch.  They will need to run the table to be a serious playoff contender, and we're not sure they have the depth to win, but they have a favorable schedule. "I thought we were dead weeks ago.  DeAngelo Williams could salvage this season," gloated Renz.

Another Spoiler - 1-2 - Reeling from last week's full throttle 80 point smack down, Another Spoiler is searching for an identity.  Chick has already begun negotiations with Dan Snyder and will sell his franchise if at all possible at the end of this season. "I already have many ways to find frustration in my life.  I don't need fantasy football for that," stated a perplexed Chick after last week's devastating drubbing.

Week 6 Recap and Week 7 Predictions

Week 6 Recap

Sack Francisco continues to roll, dismissing the Spoilers in a route.  "We knew that our TE was undervalued going into the week as the 18th best option at that position.  It was time for a break out," said a confident Rossi.  Chick reflected on his teams up and down nature. "We are definitely lacking at RB.  If we could just use Brady and Rodgers at EVERY position EVERY week, I think we'd be competitive.  But those guys don't grow on trees."  When asked if dropping the league's 2nd best performing running back, Matt Forte, after a 16 point performance had anything to do with gang ties, Rossi took the high road and refused to comment.

TKO gets back on track and fleeces Wicked Sheep.  Both teams are now at 2-4.  Normally this would spell disaster but many teams are around or under .500, so both these teams have a chance to turn it around.  "It was nice to get our offense rolling again..."  Both teams had solid performances up and down the line up, but TKO's was slightly more solid.

Hoosier Daddies STUN Booberry with late Defense led rally!  Booberry came into this game as the unquestioned best team in the league.  Just ask their owner, Steve Hanna.  "They get lots of style points.  You know, running up scores against teams that only score 30-40 points.  But when you smash them in the mouth enough, they start to question themselves," stated Joe "Knute" Anderson.  "We felt confident going into Monday night that our defense would be able to put up numbers comparable to Eli Manning and Odel Beckham combined.  A 5 point lead with just their QB and All World Wideout still left to play allowed us to really pin our ears back and go after them."

The Nerds rally and take the teeth out of Cthulhu's bite.  Calvin Johnson's 22 lead the way for the Nerd's to their first victory.  Cthulhu had a 28 point day from Andrew Luck, and a solid performance from the Texan D, but not a single flex player showed up for them.  "I got word that it was the kids birthday.  As soon as I found out, I quickly benched the dynamic Jarvis Landry (12 points) and popped in the unassuming Randall Cobb (4 points.)  It was the gentlemanly thing to do," explained Loeb.  The Nerds struggled, but did just enough to win.  "It's how we do," said Sarah Renz.  She celebrated her team's first victory with a trail ride through a serene Chester County fall setting.

Poehlman serves notice and spoils SOL's name change opener.  Team Poehlman not only smashed SOL, but every other team on the docket, putting up an impressive 145.  "We felt Ivory and Olsen were due to combine for 45 points any day."  Demarco Murray complained about not seeing any snaps for Poehlman despite his season high 18 point day.  It was then pointed out that his 18 points put him 3rd among Poehlman RB's, and he responded with a Gilda Radnor-like "never mind".

Renz remains positive. "We need to do something.  We are 1-5.  I've been here before and climbed back into playoff contention.  One game at a time."  Some questioned Renz as to why on earth he would drop 45th ranked CJ Anderson to sign 2nd ranked free agent Matt Forte who was released under shady circumstances by Sack Francisco.  "While Anderson's 3 points a game has been a big part of our offense this season, we felt he had some locker room issues that couldn't be ignored.  We saw Forte was available.  We wiped our glasses and checked once more.  Then we repeated that act 5-6 more times.  We checked the police blotter to make sure there were no domestic violence things we hadn't heard about.  We saw we were 5th in the waiver order, and felt we had no shot, but put in our claim.  It was more to appease our fans so we could say we tried to sign him.  We never really thought we'd get him.  We are not sure exactly WHAT he brings to the table aside from 12-15 points a game, but we feel it gives us some versatility in our already impotent line-up."

Looking Ahead at Week 7

Sack Francisco (5-1) takes on SOL (1-5) as 30+ point underdogs.  "We have been in similar positions in the past, and won easily," stated Rossi.  "That is just what 5-1 teams do.  we win."  Renz also feels the line can be misleading.  "My analytics guy says we are 0-3 as 25+ point favorites.  The big challenge this week is trying not to look past this 5-1 first place team."  On a side note, Forte could give SOL some insight into the prolific offense of SF.  "I can't believe those punks dropped me.  I just wish I could play this week.  I will help however I can."

Hoosier Daddies (5-1) tee up TKO (2-4).  "Things don't seem to get any easier.  We just have to play who we play and hope for the best," said a calm Reardon.  Joe Anderson was asked about this week's game.  "You call this a game? You call this a GAME?  We just beat the best team in football..and you call THIS a game?".  He then smiled and flashed 10 fingers 3 times, gesturing a 30 point margin of victory prediction.

Team Booberry (5-1) challenges Cthulhu (3-3) Booberry will try to bounce back on the road against team Cthulhu.  "Well, we are 3-3.  Logic tells me we have a 50% chance of winning" said Loeb."  An astute reporter pointed out that Booberry is 5 and 1.  "We can't control THEM, we can only take care of our own business."  Hanna was pleasant at the pregame presser.  "I never said we were perfect.  I just pointed out that we are the best team in the league.  Facts are facts."

Nerds (1-5) challenge Spoilers (2-4).  The Nerds enter the game as favorites with a chance to climb up the standings after an 0-5 start.  "I hope my team wins, but I will be out riding my horse at the Gymkhana," said the league's laissez-fairest of them all.  When Chick was asked about his thoughts, he just let out a Lerch-like groan.

Poehlman (4-2) rolls against the Sheep (2-4)  "Well, the worst case scenario is we finishe the week at 2-5, which would still make us tied for the best record in our house," said the always positive Felicia Renz.  Poehlman was unavailable for comment as he was reading the tech stock report to figure out how to best invest this week's assumed Weekly High Score reward.

Week 5 Recap and Week 6 Predictions

Week 5 Recap
Cthulhu Trashes SOC and Forces Name Change

After an impressive 1st week start, SOC has fallen for a 4th straight week as a double digit favorite.  "We are changing our name to Straight Outta Luck."  SOL is an appropriate name for a team that can't seem to find the end zone.  A team that scored 6 TD's  from FLEX players week 1 has only managed 3 combined in weeks 2-5.  Facing a red hot Team Poehlman does not seem like a recipe to change their luck anytime soon.
"All we really needed was a 4 man team to handle these over-hyped losers," said Loeb, whose QB, RB1 and 2 and K provided 90, more than enough to secure the win.

Sack Francisco Rolls Over TKO Crew

Another huge day for the Denver Defense propels Sack Francisco to a win over the struggling TKO Crew.  Denver's 27 points was more than half of TKO's total Output for the week.  "I wish I could tell you that half my team was on a bye this week and I forgot to put in subs, but unfortunately we all played.  We just stink," said Reardon, sounding almost as dejected as his uncle.

Freeman and Robinson Carry Poehlman Past the Spoilers

After early disappointment with their starters, Poehlman's bench has provided all they need to be a formidable foe for the remainder of the season.  With all Eagles starters on the Bench, Poehlman is now rolling and racking up wins.  "We felt confident with 3 starters on a bye that our remaining 6 starters could get it done.  We did not wanna risk negative points from our bench," explained Poehlman.  "I am thankful Glen left 3 guys on the bench so my loss was only abysmal instead of cataclysmic," Chick confided to an Insider source.

Wicked Sheep Too Much for Hoosier Daddies to Handle

With Lynch injured, the Sheep made a great last minute pick-up that carried them to the win.  "We were unprepared for the impact Thomas Rawles could have on the game," said Anderson.  "With no tape on the guy, we just didn't know what he could bring to the table."  What he brought to the table was 22 points, and a 13 point Sheep Victory.

Booberry Earns Victory and Much Needed Respect

With a league high 127 points, Booberry serves notice that they are indeed for real.  "Just because teams are only averaging 65 points against us, doesn't mean we can't score too.  We are undefeated, and we have earned it," said a fired up Hanna.  "Maybe THIS will be what earns us some respect."
Despite the big win, we're still not sold here at the insider.  We'll need to see a little more than a 5-0 record and most total points scored in the league to know these guys are for real.

Week 6 Look Ahead

Poehlman should be able to keep it going against SOL.  Watch for them to keep pace with league leading Booberry.

Wicked Sheep have a chance to move to 3-3 against the floundering TKO Crew.

Hoosier Daddies and Booberry will battle it out for a stranglehold on their respective traditions. Whichever team wins will be well on their way to a strong run to the playoffs.

Cthulhu hopes to rain on the Nerd's birthday battle, and position themselves well in their division if Hoosier Daddies stumble for a 2nd straight week.

The Spoilers and Sack Francisco both need a win to keep pace with their division leaders.  The Spoilers are in a more desperate position.

Sounding Board

@LHInsider Booberry needs respect.  You Guys are acting as if they lucked into an undefeated record.  But they are strong in all phases of the game. #respect #booberry #bestinleague
@hughjass

@LHInsider What is going on with Straight Outta Canton?  How does a team put up 140 one week and then drop 4 straight?  #imposters #horrible #choke

@LHInsider Sack Francisco is tearing it up.  Best Rookie Coach season in a while - watch out when Big Ben gets back!!!  #bestteamever #smartestowner #neverlose
@Daryll007

Week 4 Recap and Week 5 Predictions

Defense Wins the Week!!!  No Team Tops 100!
Hoosier Daddies remain 4-0 in a controversial finish against the Spoilers. In a blatant disregard for league rules ESPN failed to reward the Spoilers 2 points for a fumble out of the end zone.  As of Monday it looked like that 2 points was going to alter the outcome, but once other stats were corrected Hoosier Daddies held a 3.5 point lead so the error was no longer a factor.

Out west, Booberry dealt a body blow to TKO on the back of solid performances from Manning and Peterson.   TKO also had a few solid performances but it the end, the mediocre performances from Booberry were enough to overcome TKO's mediocre output.

Wicked Sheep got off the schneid with a League high 98 points and sent Straight Outta Canton straight into the basement. After an amazing start, SOC just can't seem to score.  Yardage is not an issue, but no one can punch it in.

Team Poehlmann stomped the hapless Nerds and advanced to 2-2.  The Nerds have underperformed for 4 weeks straight and their fans are getting restless.

Sack Francisco kept pace with the division leaders with a win over Cthulhu.

"It wasn't pretty but sometimes you just have to grind out a win in a street fight," said Rossi.  "I'm proud of our guys."  

"I'm just blessed to be a part of this league," said Marx Loeb.  "Win or lose, God has smiled upon me."

Beasts of the Week

Did you see the scores this week?  If there were any, they weren't on anyone's roster.  Actually Devonte Freeman came to play once again, as did Rivers and Bradford.  See if their stock continues to rise this week.

Week 5 Preview

Week 5 seems marked by mismatches in many cases.

Hoosier Daddies seem poised to roll on against Wicked Sheep, who got their first win last week.  Can they rally for 2 straight?

Booberry is plagued by byes, but will try to overcome the Nerds, who seem to have everything going against them this year.

Sack Francisco will try to carry on despite an injury plagued roster, and TKO seem ready to make a move this week after a few bad break weeks.

The Spoilers and Team Poehlman are the only matchup that is really intriguing as both teams are at 2-2 and trying to position themselves for a playoff run.

Cthulhu and SOC both limp into this game, but one will limp out a winner.  It's one of those games that SOMEONE has to win, but you can't imagine how either one is going to do it.  "It's not so much that we are trying to win this one, we are just trying not to lose," said SOC QB Matt Ryan.

Sounding Board - Tweets of the Week

The officials STINK this season.  and the Hoosier Daddies must be secretly owned by Bill Belicheck and Tom Brady.  They get the luckiest breaks.

@NFLRGoodell

IDK what the league was thinking rejecting the Dirty Red Men team name.  Is THIS the new NO FUN LEAGUE?  SMH

@CherokeeNation4Evah

OK, I was wrong about the Nerds.  They have no chance.

@AdamSchefter

SPECIAL EDITION: LHL Rejects Dirty Red Men

Special Interest Groups Raise Concern Over Team Name

For now, the LHEL will remain a 10 Team league in 2016 after rejecting a bid from the Dirty Red Men for expansion.

While many applauded the move, and liked the politically correct Dirty Red Men team name, some special interest groups raised cause for concern.

The Blue Man Group, for instance, felt the mascot too closely resembled their current signature stage look.

Spinn, Hyde and Kuvver, the firm representing Snyder soundly rejected the idea that they borrowed ANYTHING from the Blue Man Group who they claimed are "hideous aberrations" and nothing like the adorable mascot "The Dirty".

Further complaints were registered by the NAAUCP (National Association for the Advancement of Unnaturally Colored People).  "We are entering an age where genetic engineering will afford people the choice to choose from a palette of colors never seen on humans before.  Soon pink with purple leopard spots may be as common as any of the naturally occurring human shades.  We are determined to get out ahead of this issue and try to stop any negative word association with a particular color.  People of the future who choose to have brigh red skin could be forever associated as "dirty".  This negative association would impede there maximizing potential in society, and that would be a loss for ALL of us" stated Seymour Cash, representative for the NAAUCP.

Finally, Archie Bradduck, a Milwaukee native, was worried that the connotation of Dirty and Man sent a bad message.  "I often here the terms creeper and dirty old man yelled at me, and I think it is a direct result of the media and the portrayal of guys like me as dirty old men.  dirty old men and dirty red men only have TWO letters difference.  The implication is hard to ignore."

"We felt these battles were too numerous and big for us to tackle at this time.  We are not shutting Snyder out...just asking his team to get back to us with a better proposal," commented Commisioner Renz.

Week 3 Recap and Week 4 Predicitons

Blowouts Across the Board in Week 3!!

Hoosier Daddies Advance to 3-0, and take the Top Score of the Week, Crushing the Nerds

"We just keep getting better each week...20+ points from every starter and every bench player is what we expect week in and out.  Get used to this.  Last years championship season was just an appetizer," stated a zealous Joe Anderson.
"I may not win a game this year...but I don't care.  Someday I will rule the world," stated Sarah Renz calmly.


Spoilers (2-1) Rally Late and Hold of SOC (1-2)

"We just couldn't get anything going.  Our rushing attack was anemic, and our starters need to step it up.  We as bad as our draft position this week," said a frustrated Renz.
"I was pretty confident this week," a candid Aaron Rodgers told the Insider.  "I wasn't sure of Lacy was starting for SOCor not, but I wasn't taking any chances.  I was gonna make sure ALL our points came from the receivers...not from Eddie."

Sack Francisco (2-1) Falls to Booberry (3-0), and Big Ben Falls With Them

"Any time you squander a 17 point effort from both a RB and a ST/D, it's frustrating.  But our main focus is moving forward and preparing for next week," said a disappointed Rossi.
"We all know in Fantasy Football, it's about holding your opponent to the fewest points.  Our offense has been good, but teams just don't score on us.  We make THAT our priority," said a confident Steve Hannah.

Cthulhu (2-1) Feasts on the Wicked Sheep (0-3)

This game was relatively close until Monday night.  The Sheep needed Maclin to have a big game.  He did, but Cobb's was bigger.  Green and Cobb combined for 62 and muted the 45 point output of Maclin and Allen.  "I felt really bad beating her.  We are good friends.  But I got over it really quick," commented a grinning Loeb.

Poehlman (1-2) Sucker Punches TKO Crew (1-2)

Team Poehlman finally looked like contenders finishing with an impressive 130+ point output and running TKO out of the stadium.  "It was nice to see our team produce.  We made some changes and they paid off," said Poehlman.  Devonta Freeman was outstanding with a 37 point effort.
"We really need to be better on the other side of the ball...we are scoring plenty of points but can't stop anyone.  This is a matter of technique, not talent.  We'll get things fixed," Reardon assured everyone.

Beasts of the Week!
Devonta Freeman, Aaron Rodgers and AJ Green combined for almost 100 points and each led their team to victory.  Who will step up in Week 4?


Week 4 Preview

Wicked Sheep vs SOC -  Both teams are searching.  Laws of probability say Wicked Sheep have to produce at some point.  Could this be the week?

Sack Francisco vs Cthulhu - Two (2-1) teams moving in opposite directions.  Can Sack Francisco overcome the loss of Big Ben?  How will Brown be affected?

Hoosier Daddies vs Another Spoiler - Can HD keep the streak alive?  A favorable match up with several key players on byes may make it easy.

Nerds vs Poehlman -  Things don't get any easier for the Nerds.  Without Gronk they may have a hard time getting it going this weekend.

Booberry vs TKO - TKO looks to assert themselves against the top team in the west.  The big question is can they get it going against stifling Booberry, and can they manage to limit the damage Booberry inflicts?

Sounding Board - Tweets of the Week

Dan Snyder and owner in the LHL?!?!?!?  Please noooooooo! He already tarnishes my SECOND fav league...please keep him OUT!!!!
@CBermanESPN

@LHLInsider ty fpr the great coverage on Expansion - glad he is going for a less offensive name.  Dirty Red Men is exactly what those Commie Bastards are, and that should be a part of our American Sports Heritage.
@CherokeeNation4Evah

@DSnyderSkinGuy  I loooove the proposed name of your new franchise and wish you well in the LHL - and BTDubbs, that mascot is just plain adorable
@D'RealAuntDebbie

@BooberryMGMT you guys ROCK...I'm a HUGE fan.  I knew you would be competitive when all else doubted.  BOOBERRY POWER!
@HughJass

SPECIAL EDITION: Expansion for 2016?

Snyder Petitions the Leather Helmet Elite League for Early Entry Franchise Status with his Team The Dirty Red Men

Around rumors that this wildly successful league may expand in 2016, successful Franchise owners are lining up to get in on the act.  "I think my personality would fit in well with the other owners in this league, and I'd like to get in on the ground level with an up and coming league such as the Leather Helmit Elite League"  Some feel Snyder may be using the LHEL as a back up in case things go sour with the NFL.  Controversy has been swarming over the name of his franchise, the R**sk**s (we at the Insider have a moral conscience and refuse to print words that may be offensive to a large portion of our readership)

Snyder denied that, though he did indicate that he was hoping to enter into a league with a fresh new start  with a team name everyone could get behind.  "We want to be America's Team."  He has hired a Top PR firm specifically to address these things and they have done surveys and studies to come up with some appropriate team names and logos for Snyder's LHEL franchise.  "We think the firm Spinn, Hyde, & Kuvver gives us just what we need to develop a successful brand."

  Due to LHEL by-laws, Snyder must submit his request to join the league with an identified name, so many details are being withheld at this time.  What we have been able to uncover at this time is the following.  At 7:23 am, Spinn, Hyde & Kuvver delivered a proposal to League Commissioner Dave Renz proposing the following:  Daniel Snyder join the league as an equal partner and be responsible for his new franchise, the Dirty Red Men - or Dirty Redz as they might be referred to by their hipster fan base.

"We went with a minimalist logo.  The Team's Nickname and the implication of the disgusting smell of burning tobacco seemed like just the right touch to the image we want to create in test markets around the country," stated Andrea Hinkle of S,H &C.  On the spot reporter Howard Eskin asked if they felt this name might be considered offensive by any particular groups.
"Well, the Communist Party test markets were luke warm, but virtually everyone else seemed to test favorably," Hinkle replied.  "And when the children see our cute mascot he will win them over regardless of political affiliation."

"The mascot, who is simply a Red Man who goes by the name 'the Dirty', is an adorable addition to the overall marketing, and something the LHEL has not tapped into yet," explained Snyder.  "We aim to be pioneers in this league and hope to take ALL the owners to a whole new level."

You can read more about Daniel Snyder here.  His controversial history  is an interesting one and would certainly bring the LHEL into more national prominence.

We questioned several owners about the potential edition of The Dirty Red Men but none were willing to comment at this time.